Poems to the Culture List

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Pleasant Bear School of Slow Read™



Haven't you always wanted to glide like a lily, beautifully?

Now sink back and enrapture yourself in a slow daze.

Let Pleasant Bear School of Slow Read instruct you

in diction with conviction,

in an atmosphere of classical elegance guaranteed plus.

Learn to read quite slowly and in a loud voice.

At PBSSR skilled experts tutor you in

the essentials of this achievement bound to make you

comfortable

in social situations

from cocktail parties to Sunday School picnics.

For particulars enquire within.





--Ross Bender

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

I sold my soul to a big breasted girl

I sold my soul to a big breasted girl

she suckled me on gin and consolation

and she traded my soul to the CIA

at the Oyster Bar in Grand Central Station


down on the futures market dead souls go

for pennies or a dime for the dozen

and the live souls trade for a dollar a day

and the Brits trade their souls to the Cousins


the devil runs a hedge fund on bundles of souls

and he sells his take to the wizards

the devil is a snake and his mother is a whore

the devil is a Texas horned lizard


I sold my soul to a friendly looking girl

but she turned me over in the morning

she was sweet as clover honey in a honey trap

but I was too damned blind to read the warning


I was too damned blind and I was too strung out

I was living on gin and self pity

so I sold my soul to a sympathetic girl

real nice, an intellectual, and pretty


so virgins watch your backs and your fronts and your sides

and don’t let yer knickers down easy

you don’t trust yer mother and you don’t trust yourself

you don’t trust the girls who look sleazy


look out kid cause there’s somethin you did

and the secret police are gonna find it

and they’ll blast your mind in a far away jail

they will render your soul and unwind it


but your soul will fly to a faraway place

where you can’t trust your friends or your mother

there you can’t trust yourself cause you don’t exist

so you must trust your sisters and your brothers


your sisters won’t screw you and your brothers won’t too

and that is how you will know them

you can recognize the lies that are in the eyes

of the handlers who just want you to owe them


then hold on long in that faraway place

where the torturers can no longer touch you

they will try their damndest to bring you back

you will find they can no longer touch you


in that faraway place where there is no time

the sisters will soothe you in the twilight

and they’ll tend your wounds in the pale full moon

while you disappear north through the skylight


down on the futures market dead souls go

for pennies or a dime for the dozen

and the live souls trade for a dollar a day

and the Brits trade their souls to the Cousins


--Ross Bender

I sold my soul to a big-breasted girl